The more I learn about my past the less I actually know where I come from. This is a picture of my brother, sister, and I when we were all young. We share a mother but we had a different father. I lived with our mother and my brother and sister lived with their father. I never actually met my father and when I asked my mother shortly before her death about who he was she responded with, "I'll tell you when you are older." She never lived long enough to tell me, she passed away on December, 28th, 1992 three days after the best Christmas we ever had together. I was 9 years old.
No one in my family has any idea who my father could have been because my mother was addicted to heroin and people addicted to heroin often go off the radar. She would lose contact with everyone for months, even years at a time.
I've recently learned some new information about my mother, at 14 she was raped by a boyfriend. Could that have been the catalyst that started her on the path of self destructive behavior? Was I the product of rape myself? Why would my mother never speak of who my father was? Her death has left more questions than answers.
If I was the product of rape, I am glad my mother refused to have an abortion. Why should any child be punished for the sins of someone else? Understanding the new information that my mother was raped at 14 has changed my mind on pro-choice exceptions in the case of rape. I understand it is horrific but children shouldn't be punished.
I used to be completely pro choice throughout my 20's. I felt that no one should tell another person what to do with their own body. My mind has come around to a different perspective now. No matter what stats you throw at me, I now view it as killing an innocent life. That does not mean we should ever punish woman for having abortions. I feel the truth about what the procedure actually is should be more widely distributed. People have a right to know truth over partisanship. Let the individual make up their own mind, but let them make up their mind with facts not propaganda.
I know I saved my mother's life in someways, I kept her clean near the end of her life because she knew that if she was caught using again she would lose me forever. She remained clean from heroin and I've looked at the death records and even though she had prescription medication in her system at the time of death, she had no heroin in her system.